The Pumpkin Patch Is a Lie: Fall Isn’t Cozy Behind the Bar

There’s a moment every fall, and it started back in September.  Back when the first guest walks in wearing a flannel shirt and announces to no one in particular that “fall is finally here.” They order a spiced something, maybe a cinnamon-sugar rim, and snap a pic of their drink in portrait mode with a falling leaves emoji in the caption.

All of this went down while it was still averaging around 80 degrees here in Nashville.

Behind the bar? We’re out of ice, the dishwasher’s throwing steam like a possessed pumpkin spice cauldron, and two coworkers called out because “the weather changed too fast.”

Welcome to autumn, from our side of the service well.

Fall is a scam.

Not the season itself, the season is fine. Crisp air, changing leaves, the fleeting comfort of layering clothes before the cold really sets in. But the vibes? The curated aesthetic of hayrides and mason jars, of golden-hour selfies and apple cider candles? That’s not fall. That’s marketing. That’s “fall” in quotes.

In hospitality, fall doesn’t mean slowing down. It means ramping up.
It’s the beginning of the holiday sprint. It’s bachelorette groups that just rediscovered infinity scarves. It’s families fighting over appetizers and bringing stress from the minivan straight to the table. It’s menu reprints and last-minute “can we add six people?” reservation changes.

Fall is when the wheels start to shake loose, and we’re duct-taping them back on while pretending everything’s fine.

It’s not just physical.

There’s a kind of emotional weight that hits hospitality workers in fall. It sneaks in with the first cool breeze and doesn’t leave until January. It’s the knowledge that everyone else is winding down. Planning vacations. Cozying up. And you? You’re about to work double shifts, cover for everyone else’s flu, and smile through it all while guests debate who’s bringing what to the potluck – at your bar, during a rush.

If you’re lucky, your coworkers become your holiday crew. If you’re not, you just get to watch other people’s joy from the service side of it. It’s not bitterness, not exactly. But it’s something close.

So, where’s the magic?

It’s in the moments we steal.
Not in some pumpkin patch, but in the barback handing off a hot coffee during setup. In the knowing glance when the first second we start to hear Mariah Carey jingling on the speakers.

She’s coming, and we all know, she’s coming.

It’s in the quiet check-ins, the “you good?” behind the walk-in door, the shared bag of chips at whatever the hell time AM when the floor’s finally mopped.  It’s the perfectly built round on a slammed Saturday night that no one saw but you – and you still felt proud.

Hospitality folks know the magic isn’t in the big show. It’s in the backstage chaos and the camaraderie that comes from surviving it together.

But yeah, we get it. You love fall.

We know. You should. Fall is beautiful. The boots are cute. The cider is delicious. The porch looks great with that blanket and stack of mystery novels you’ll never read.

We’re not trying to take that from you.
We’re just asking that maybe you remember us, the people making your espresso martinis and refilling your water glasses, are doing this while the world leans into leisure.  That contrast can sting.

So, if you really want to honor the “fall spirit,” maybe leave a decent tip. Ask your server how their day is going. At the very least, skip the speech about how “you wish you were behind the bar; it looks so fun back there.”

Autumn isn’t cozy for everyone.

For many in the industry, it’s the most emotionally taxing time of year. The lead-in to holidays means missing family gatherings, working while sick, and trying not to absorb everyone else’s seasonal stress.

So, when we say “the pumpkin patch is a lie,” we’re not being salty for the sake of it. We’re speaking for the folks who make the cozy vibes happen; even when they’re running on caffeine, adrenaline, and a borderline stress-induced cough.

Next time you sip that spiced cider old fashioned, give a quiet toast to the ones behind the scenes.

We’ll still smile when we drop the check. But a little recognition? That’s the real fall flavor.

Me vs The Tree- a companion reflection on repetition, quiet work, and the strange beauty in doing it anyway.

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